Make Your Own Bourbon

"I need a list of your employees and how much you pay them," demanded the investigator. .

"Well," replied the rancher, "there's my ranch hand who's been with me for 3 years. I pay him $1200 a week plus free room and board.

"The cook has been here for 18 months, and I pay her $1000 per week plus free room and board.

"Then there's the half-wit. He works about 18 hours every day, with no days off, and does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week and pays his own room and board .

But, I buy him a bottle of bourbon every Saturday night, and he also sleeps with my wife occasionally."

"That's the guy I want to talk to ... the half-wit," says the investigator.

"You're talking to him," replied the rancher.